The Prayer of Agony - Palm Sunday, Year C
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| The Church of All Nations, Garden of Gethsemane |
When we remain with Jesus, he sustains us. Today, we fully enter into Holy Week, this
time specifically set apart to pray over Jesus’ Passion, death, and
resurrection. It’s really easy for us to
just glance at the cross every once in a while, not really considering its
importance. But this week puts the cross
front and center, urging us to behold it, both its glory and its gruesomeness. So here’s the question: how do we enter into
this week to receive its blessings and graces anew?
I had a powerful opportunity a few months ago to go to the
place where all of this happened: Jerusalem.
There were many memorable moments, but one of the most memorable moments
for me took place somewhere I wasn’t expecting and for reasons I definitely
wasn’t expecting. We spent one morning
upon the Mount of Olives, which is where Jesus goes before he processes into
Jerusalem. We were walking down the
mountain to go to the Garden of Gethsemane, where there was a church built over
the rock where Jesus is traditionally held to have prayed in his agony. When we were walking, it was cold and raining,
and we were walking downhill on this rough cobblestone road. We’re almost at the church, when suddenly, I
take a wrong step, slip on the wet stone, and fall backward. I felt an immediate excruciating pain in my
left ankle, and I thought, “Oh no!” I
had been trying hard to be careful, but I knew that I just sprained my
ankle. I get up, thinking, “Maybe I’ll
just walk it off,” and a couple of classmates come to assist me down to the
church. But I knew by this point that it
wasn’t going to get better on its own; it seemed pretty bad. I walked into the church, and I was wet,
cold, in pain, shivering, tired, ashamed, and knowing that I’ll have to get a
taxi back to the hotel. So I tried praying
in the church, and eventually I got up to where the rock where Christ
prayed. I literally collapsed on part of
the rock, and all I could pray was, “Aargh!
Jesus, I’m here with you! Help
me!”
I did get a taxi back to the hotel and began to ice my
ankle, and only then could I start to get over my pain and sorrow and reflect
back on my moment of prayer. It
definitely wasn’t the eloquent, beautiful prayer I was expecting, but I could
sense that in my very small agony, I could somehow sense the intense agony of
Christ. Within my pain, I could sense
his prayer: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not
my will but yours be done.” I couldn’t
put together words to God, but it’s as if the Father were telling me in that
moment, “Yes, Bill, I know that you feel inadequate, in pain, and ashamed, but
my Son remains with you and sustains you even now.” “Jesus, I’m here with you! Help me!”
The more I reflect on it, the more I wonder if this is the
attitude we can take more often in our prayer.
Prayer isn’t trying to get the right words or making yourself seem
alright in front of God; it’s coming to God in our pain, inadequacy, and shame,
asking Him to be with us even there. And
he is – just behold this cross.
As we go into Holy Week, what places in your life is God
asking you to let Him into? Where are
you suffering, and how does Jesus want to be right there? It’s not about the right words – it’s about
bringing all we are before the Lord. I
encourage you to take full advantage of what the Church offers us this week, to
consider attending a liturgy on Holy Thursday or Good Friday, to spend time in
prayer each day, or to read the Gospel passages that tell us about Jesus’
Passion. I especially recommend John,
chapters 13-17, which is Jesus’ final discourse to his disciples during the
last supper – it’s a beautiful and powerful reminder of how Jesus loves us –
John 13-17. When we remain with Jesus, he sustains
us. So we pray . . .
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