I AM WHO AM - 3rd Sunday of Lent, Year C

Moses and the Burning Bush, Arnold Friberg

Readings: http://usccb.org/bible/readings/032419-yearc.cfm
Audio for homily at bottom of post

What would it be like to not exist?  How did we even begin existing on this earth?  You could have probably called me a strange child, because even when I was in grade school, I would sometimes find myself sitting in my room playing with Legos, and this question coming to mind – how am I existing right now?  How is it that I, somehow called by the name Billy Cremers (as I went by until 6^th grade – don’t call me that now!), am experiencing this, going from place to place, even going to sleep and waking up as the same person with the same memories?  I didn’t decide to be here; I didn’t choose to exist – I simply am – and it almost feels like I’m on a roller coaster that I can’t get off! 

Probably most of you didn’t wonder about this question in grade school, but I think we all come to moments when something like this comes to mind.  I know how often I take my own life for granted and become so caught up on what’s going on in the day-to-day, but then I step back and consider, “What’s the meaning of all of this?”  This can especially happen in cases like today’s Gospel, when we experience different tragedies as are described here. 

The glorious thing is that as believers, we know the answer.  We see this very clearly in the first reading today, when Moses encounters God in the burning bush.  Just take a moment and imagine how crazy this was for Moses, who had been tending the sheep for the past forty years and certainly wasn’t expecting God to speak to him.  But God becomes manifest through the fire that does not consume, choosing Moses for this mission to free the Israelites from slavery.  Moses asks God this key question, “What is your name?”  God responds with this strange answer, “I AM WHO AM.”  In Hebrew, this is the name YHWH, spelled with the four letters, and this is God’s sacred name for the Jewish people.  But what is God really saying with this name?  One answer is that He’s saying that He is the one who always exists, that all things come from Him.  When we say that God is eternal, without beginning or end, we mean that literally, that He had no beginning but exists forever from Himself.  Yeah, that’s mind-blowing, but is it really any more mind-blowing than the fact that we exist?  Again, we didn’t choose to be here – our existence is completely and radically a gift from God.  I recently read a quote from St. Irenaeus, who lived less than 200 years after Christ; Irenaeus says, “In proportion to God’s need for nothing is man’s need for communion with God.”  God needs absolutely nothing - He is self-sufficient – but we need Him absolutely!

So if our existence is a gift, how is it that we’re responding to it?  Do we receive our life completely from God, or do we put other things in the way or try to live for ourselves?  Think again of the Israelites who were led by Moses, who saw God act in their lives time and time again.  St. Paul describes in the second reading how many gifts that God gave the Hebrews – He saved them from slavery, guided them in the desert, fed them with heavenly food, and showed His power and love countless times – but they still rejected Him.  And it’s not just the Israelites – how many times throughout history have members of the Church failed to be faithful to the Lord, how much scandal arises from rejecting God’s call?  In my own life, I can think of times when I have turned away slightly from God, trying to define myself and seek after my own self-project, instead of remaining faithful to the Lord.

Here’s the good news: God remains faithful to us, because His name is, “I AM WHO AM.”  In this time of Lent, we have this continual opportunity to receive this faithfulness again and again.  Going back to what Fr. Joe has been speaking about this Lent, we have grime in our life that comes from sin and broken relationships, and when we take time to examine it, we can often be surprised how much grime there is.  We know that the grime can be cleaned, but oftentimes, it needs a good amount of grit to do so.  One simple example, I think about when I worked in the water park concession stand back in high school and needed to clean out the pans.  I wouldn’t just be content with giving it a quick scrub; I really wanted to dive in and try getting out as much grease with all the grit that I had, but the work paid off when my supervisors said they never saw cleaner pans! 

Jesus speaks about this in the Gospel in the parable about the fig tree; without any work, there can be no fruit.  It’s only when the gardener decides to cultivate and fertilize the ground that there’s the possibility of fruit that can come forth.  This is why it’s so easy to fall into sin and vice, because to grow in virtue requires effort.  One example comes in judging others or in trying to tear them down through our thoughts and words.  It’s easy to just say, “It’s no big deal, they’ll never know, it’s just for a good laugh,” – but it takes effort to say, “God, help me to love them as you love them, to pray for them instead of judging them. 

When our own journey seems rough, here’s what we can remember: God has shown His grit first.  Again, think about all of the times that His people rejected Him, but God did not give up – that’s why we have all of the Scriptures as this story of how God reached out time and time again, ultimately sending His Son into the world to suffer the passion of the cross.  When we realize that, it empowers us to have this same grit because God is with us, giving us the strength and energy to combat sin and come toward reconciliation. 

So this is my question for us for this week: in what area of life are we tempted to give up?  Where do we not see any meaning in our lives?  For me, I can fall into complacency – I’m going to set aside what I know I need to change, because I’ll just get to it later on.  But that never works!  Instead, what truly works is to realize that God is already here, that He is who is, that nothing can exist apart from Him, and then we allow Him to burn away what is keeping us from Him.  We receive the grit to move forward in strength and virtue, not being like those who turn away but following the Lord absolutely.  Remember: “In proportion to God’s need for nothing is man’s need for communion with God.”  Whatever that area is, offer it to the Lord upon this altar right now, so that we may receive His grit and love to carry it forward.  Then, whenever we ask why it is that we’re existing or what meaning our life has, we can hear God saying to us, even in this moment, “I AM WHO AM.”