Didn't See It Coming - Book Review

Ever since I began thinking about priesthood, one of my biggest obstacles has been the fear of failure.  Fear of not just having bad days or messing up once in a while, but failing horribly, especially in terms of falling into sin or burning out.  I think we’ve seen through these recent scandals the depths this can go – when priests fail in holiness, this causes tremendous pain for the Church.

However, what we constantly hear from Jesus in the Gospels is, “Do not be afraid!”  He reminds us that he gives us the grace to remain in his love and follow his commands.  He supported his apostles when they fell, and he promised to remain with his Church for all days.  This is what I’ve been continually learning in seminary, and even more, I’ve been learning the practical ways to remain steadfast and upright, to develop virtuous habits, and to remain in communion with others and with God. 

This is why I really appreciate Carey Nieuwhof’s latest book Didn’t See It Coming.  Carey is the pastor of Connexus Church in Ontario, Canada.  I saw Carey speak at the Divine Renovation Conference in June, and I was really impressed by his perspective on faith and leadership.  I can imagine that some Protestant pastors would be really nervous to talk in front of a mostly-Catholic crowd, but he did so gracefully and powerfully, inspiring us by his joy and wisdom and leading prayers for all of us and for the whole Church.  Thus, I began listening to his weekly leadership podcast where he interviews other Christian leaders (a podcast which I highly recommend).  On the podcast, he began talking about his new book and the “launch team” that would be assembled for it.  Since I enjoy both new books and free things, I joined in with about 2,000 others to receive a preview copy of the book and to help get the word out about it. 

The book covers 7 key challenges that affect all of our lives: cynicism, compromise, disconnection, irrelevance, pride, burnout, and emptiness.  These are challenges that, as the subtitle says, “no one expects and everyone experiences.”  In the first chapter of each section, Carey illustrates the effects of each of these challenges, and then the second chapter provides practical ways to respond to each of these.  Three particular takeaways from the book for me:

1. In discussing cynicism, Carey describes how curiosity is a way to combat our preconceptions that “we know how this will all end.”  Rather, if we develop the habit of asking questions and desiring to discover more, we will become more open to surprise and hopeful that there are good things to come.  This is how great conversations occur, which helps us combat the isolation that technology can lead us toward

2. Moral compromise can happen over a long period of time when we aren’t fully honest with ourselves and others.  Instead, Carey recommends that we check ourselves each day: are our words and actions completely honest?  Are we able to tell the truth, even when it might hurt?  Finding friends we can trust to share about what’s really going on can be a tremendous aid to this, as I’ve experienced in my brotherhood at seminary.

3. One of the most powerful sections of the book is when Carey describes his experience of burnout, which is my own greatest fear.  He lays out signs of possible burnout and “low grade depression,” which we can use to help diagnose what’s going on before it becomes overpowering.  Then he shares several keys to how he recovered, including rest, friendship, prayer, finding the small successes each day, vulnerability, and gratitude.  The key takeaway for all of us: “Live in a way today that will help you thrive tomorrow.”

Overall, I do recommend this book to those who desire to become more self-aware regarding these challenges, to the point that I purchased several copies of it to share with others.  I think it’s very valuable for both ministers and laity alike, and I’m particularly inspired to see how it’s affecting others’ lives (i.e. see on the reviews on Amazon).  At the very least, everyone can freely listen to one of the most recent podcast episodes of the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast, featuring an interview that Ann Voskamp does with Carey, in which he explains many of the themes of the book.

As I prepare for ministry, there are many resources that I’m utilizing to help me transition into leadership, so I hope to cover more of these on this blog in the future.  As Jesus tells all of us, may we not be afraid of failure but instead remain confident that as we follow Him, He helps us grow in virtue and love!