The Harder Path

Much attention has been given in both Catholic and secular media over this past week to the ongoing Synod on the Family, and the viewpoints contained in these articles vary from one extreme to the other.  While it would be out of my range to try to comment on everything discussed in the synod, I want to humbly bring attention to possibly the most important yet often-ignored topic – how we truly live as disciples of Jesus as witnesses to the beauty of the family.

Understandably, what is highlighted in the synod by the media are stances on hot-button issues: divorce, annulment, contraception, homosexuality, etc.  It’s quite a danger, however, to limit discussion to these topics and not make the necessary jump to living out the teachings of Christ.  It is one thing to know and promote the teachings of the Church; it is quite another to live his love out in our complex lives and wounded society.  This, in the mind of the bishops, is the “harder path” of being witnesses of love and inviting all others into the Church.  Instead of creating boundaries, Pope Francis and the bishops are encouraging all Christians to truly evangelize.

Consider this context-setting quotation from the current midterm report:

Imitating Jesus’ merciful gaze, the Church must accompany her most fragile sons and daughters, marked by wounded and lost love, with attention and care, restoring trust and hope to them like the light of a beacon in a port, or a torch carried among the people to light the way for those who are lost or find themselves in the midst of the storm.

There is “wounded and lost love” found in all places of society and within those we encounter daily, and these wounds themselves block many from understanding the Church’s beautiful teaching on the family.  What does the document then call for?

Each damaged family first of all should be listened to with respect and love, becoming companions on the journey as Christ did with the disciples of the road to Emmaus. In a particular way the words of Pope Francis apply in these situations: «The Church will have to initiate everyone – priests, religious and laity – into this “art of accompaniment”, which teaches us to remove our sandals before the sacred ground of the other (cf. Es 3,5). The pace of this accompaniment must be steady and reassuring, reflecting our closeness and our  compassionate gaze which also heals, liberates and encourages growth in the Christian life» (Evangelii Gaudium, 169).

This is the harder path: to open ourselves to relationship with those who are hurting, those we don’t immediately agree with, those we may even dread to see.  It is easy to make judgments, say what we think is right, and point out error rather than goodness and truth.  What Pope Francis has been saying is that the way to bring others to holiness is to notice the good that is already there and draw it out, filling the void that wounds and evil left behind.  If we desire to show that the family can be built on bonds of love, we first need to love others, to let them know that they are immensely loved.  Overcoming our fears, discomfort, and our own sin, we become Christ to our companions. 

Conversion has, above all, to be that of language so that this might prove to be effectively meaningful. The announcement is about letting it be experienced that the Gospel of the family is the response to the deepest expectations of a person: to his or her dignity and its full realization in reciprocity and communion. This is not merely about presenting a set of regulations but about putting forward values, responding to the need of those who find themselves today even in the most secularized countries.

As the synod continues, let us look for these deeper truths, go beyond the headlines, and ask Jesus himself, “How do you want us to show your love?”  Discover the good in your own families and love them for who they are, not for who you want them to be.  Contrary to popular belief, the bishops aren’t looking to change the teachings of the Church but to promote the Church’s graces to people in need of redemption.  Yes, it is difficult, but in our own lives, we trust that grace will always prevail.

Mary, mother of God, pray for us!
St. Joseph, caretaker of Jesus, pray for us!